To illustrate how ridiculous our speech patterns have become, I thought it would be fun to collaborate with my 15-year-old daughter Amanda and craft a professional correspondence, maybe a job cover letter, written by a young women who is unknowingly but fully entrenched in what I have been calling, the “Like, Ya Know” syndrome - replete with hashtags, text messaging slang, selfies and words written in vocal fry for emphasis.
Amanda and I had a great time both writing and filming this Youtube video parody, “Bethenny’s Cover Letter: Like, Hire Me?” And, thank you to our talented videographer, Peg Cashman!
Like, enjoy!
BETHENNY TAYLOR
50 Gurrl Street, Totally, TX 75211
555-555-5555
heyitsbethenny@hotmail.com
Human Resources Manager
My Fav Shoe Company
7 Perf Place
Fashionista, CA 90210
Dear Human Resources Manager,
So, like I am applying for the, ya know, bitchin job you posted on your website? The ad caught my eye because it was #totesswaggyyy and I need a job to support my #loveofshoes and other shopping habits. Btw, the candy apple red nail polish in your ad is like totally awesome. I loveee! Already, you can see we would make a perfect match.
As you will see on my attached resume, Instagram (@kittenlover245) and selfie, I am superrr gorg and popular (826 Besties) and have worked at Shoe Heaven, Forever22 and stacked nail polishes at Posh Nails. With all of my experience, I am sure I can help My Fav Shoe Company achieve like whatever it is it wants to achieve??? #doesthatmakeanysense #2amlogic #brbmybrainisexploding. So, ya know, why should you hire me? Well, umm, ahh, like, I’m not a fake model, can walk in 6” heels, and am good with people, and whatever…
I mean, I can’t, I can’t, I literally can’t even imagine how awesome it would be to work for such a damnnn hottieee company. I will text you to discuss the possibility of setting up a meeting to ummm, discuss ways I can work on behalf of your company (OMGGG, did I just say that? Awkward!)
TBH, I would make a great employee!
Thank uuu!
Peace Out,
Bethenny Taylor
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