Speak like a Leader - Digital Daughters on the “Like, Ya Know” Syndrome: Panel Presentation, April 28th!

When it comes to our teenage girls, there is a new verbal fashion trend of epidemic proportions – like, ya know, um, ah, I mean, whatever, ya, I can’t, I can’t even…

In preparation for my upcoming panel presentation on how to “Say it Like You Mean it,” I reached out to my Digital Daughter Ambassadors (DDAs) to ask what they thought about the “like, ya know syndrome” and other verbal habits, their pervasiveness and potential downfalls.  I was curious about the girls’ level of awareness and whether they wished they could get rid of their own involuntary verbal tics.  

Speech Modification Program – 3-Step Screening

At my recent "Say it Like You Mean it" panel event, Speech-Language Pathologist and Accent Modification Expert Marci Macaluso and I presented a speech modification program and a 3-Step Screening for your own personal audit.  Here it is below along with an option to get in touch regarding setting up an individual or group training.

Let us know how you do!

Speech Modification Program – 3-Step Screening

1. What are the verbal tics, fillers and crutches that you want to train against?  (Please circle.)

ü  Like

ü  Ya Know

ü  Whatever

ü  Totally

ü  Literally

ü  Basically

ü  I mean

ü  I can’t

ü  Um

ü  Uhh

ü  So

ü  (Other?)

2. Record yourself using your cell phone or video camera in conversation with a friend.  What are you noticing?

ü  Verbal tics (discourse markers, e.g. “like, ya know, whatever”)

ü  Filler words (um, uhh)

ü  Vocal fry (a.k.a. creaky voice - the low, staccato vibration during speech that arises at the end of sentences)

ü  Uptalk (upward glide that ends statements or proclamations in a question mark?)

ü  Baby talk (higher pitched voice then your usual tone)

ü  Apologizing (starting a sentence with “I’m sorry, etc.”)

ü  Speaking in text/social media terms (using acronyms and abbreviations – e.g. OMG, LOL, BRB)

3. Are you speaking articulately, with confidence and presenting your best self?

If not, are you interested in exploring our speech modification program? Email at audrey@manncroninpr.com)

ü  Group setting

ü  One-on-one training

Top 10 Tips to Say it Like You Mean it!

Speaking articulately and with confidence is paramount to our success!  

I know you have heard me say that before:-).  But, at my recent panel presentation, I offered a top 10 list to Say it Like You Mean it.  I hope my audience found the list helpful and I wanted to share it here with my wonderful blog community.  

So here it is...And, if you'd like, please sign up to receive my blog via email...

10 Tips to:

Say it Like You Mean it!

1.     Be aware of your own verbal tics:  Do you say “like,” “ya know,” “whatever,” “totally,” etc.?  Hone in on what unnecessary words pepper your speech with mindless repetition and work on getting rid of them.

2.     Learn to brave the pause:  Instead of filling what should be empty spaces in our speech with “ummms” and “ahhs,” take a breath and allow yourself and your colleagues to absorb your thoughts and ideas.

3.     Speak with conviction and avoid “uptalk.”  The upward glide or “uptalk” that ends would-be statements in a question mark is often used by women to gain consensus and likeability, however, it does not inspire confidence.

4.     What happens in rehearsal ends up on stage:  Before an important interview or presentation, rehearse in front of a video camera.  You may be surprised at your own verbal crutches, and the videotape doesn’t lie.

5.     Find a great speech from an eloquent speaker (e.g. Hillary Clinton, Sheryl Sandberg, FDR) and read it aloud.  Hearing what good writing sounds like will reinforce good communication habits and help you develop your own voice.

6.     Avoid the baby voice trap:  To feign innocence, illicit sympathy and seem appealing to men, some women raise the pitch of their voices.  Don’t.

7.     Stop apologizing: Don’t be afraid to say what you want.  It is not necessary to start sentences with, “If you don’t mind,” or “I’m sorry, but…”

8.     Leave vocal fry to the Kardashians. Inspired by our celebrity stars, a new study finds that this pop-culture “creaky voice” that has found its way into our speech patterns may affect women’s chances of getting and keeping a job.   

9.     Enlist your own personal verbal coach: Yes, it will be irritating for both parties, but find someone you trust who is willing to call out your verbal tics, correct and refine them.  

10.  Keep your social media feeds clean: What you write on social media channels translates into how you are perceived.  Make sure your competence shines through in the written word as well.

We, Like, Need a Better Game Plan

As fate would have it, I recently found myself as the front-seat-driver privy to five teenage girls in the backseat playing “One Minute Madness,” otherwise known as “The Um Game.”  The object is to talk about a given topic for one solid minute without saying the words “um,” “like,” or “ya know.”  Topics ranged from the mundane (stop signs) to the icky (ear wax) and as they laughed their way through it, they all agreed that the game was surprisingly challenging.  (I swear on my copy of “Do you Speak American?” that I did not put them up to this.)

How terrific that teenage girls are game for a new game that challenges their ability to speak without verbal tics and crutches!   

The fact is, we do need a better game plan – or more games and better strategies - to help young girls/women modify their speech patterns so the sound of their own voices don’t get in the way of their success.  

Just a few days ago, Christina Sterbenz, a young writer at Business Insider, contributed a trend story entitled, “Are These Common SpeechHabits Bringing You Down?”  She says, “How you say something matters as much as, like, what you say.  If you want to get your ideas across, then pay attention to certain controversial speech habits becoming increasingly more common.”

Sterbenz covers six of the most common trends, many of which I have covered in this blog: 

1. Vocal Fry 

2. Uptalking 

3. Beginning sentences with “so” 

4. Saying “Um” and “Ah” 

5. Saying “Like” 

6. Clearing your throat  

All six trends have video accompaniments.  Former News Anchor Connie Chung does a great piece on uptalking, interviewing both a linguist on her thesis and Villanova college students on this contagious rise in our intonation that turns our proclamations into questions.   

It is enlightening (if not a bit disturbing), to watch the YouTube videos of mega star pop idols showcasing their own mindless affectations including Kesha’s creaky vocal fry, Taylor Swift’s “um” syndrome and Justin Bieber’s innumerable “likes.”

For mega stars and mere mortals alike, games like, “One Minute Um-Madness” (my combined new title) and maybe even a modified version of the word guessing party game Taboo (switched up so you are not allowed to fall prey to verbal tics) are fun and effective exercises to help us rid ourselves of the verbal fillers, vocal fry and the “like” syndrome. It is all about awareness and modeling the right speech behaviors.  However, it is tricky. 

According to speech/language pathologist Marci Macaluso, “You need to be conscious of your speech pattern at the same time that you are being spontaneous in your conversation.  There are different strategies for shaping these behaviors.  But, you really need to commit to changing, because it takes a lot of practice.”

We all want to present our best selves.  No matter our chosen professions, internships or leadership positions, we don't just need to dress for success, we need to speak to impress!  But how do we find our own authentic voice, and one not riddled with like, ya know, whatever?

At the upcoming panel presentation on September 18th, 7-9pm at the Chappaqua Library, we will discuss all of this – the socio-linguistic trends (aka verbal fashion trends) including verbal tics and crutches, vocal fry and social media's affect on our speech patterns.  There will be tips and tricks as well and as an opportunity to learn more about a speech modification program. And, I am so thrilled that I will be joined by Speech/Language Pathologist Marci Macaluso, Writopia Lab Director Lena Roy and Human Resources Consultant Pam Schiffman.  

Like, hope to see ya there!:-)